Doubting God

My ideas and understanding of God are becoming less by the day.

My problem with certainty, with knowing all the answers is we leave little room for God to work. I think John Piper has an incredible God. I just don't know if I could ever believe in John Piper's God. Piper seems to know to much about him.

Instead, I wonder if church could be a place where we didn't go to find answers, but we went to express our profound doubts. I question if that may be what God intended.

Few things in the world are black and white. Most of it seems to be shades of gray. It's all bit complicated and confusing. It makes life a struggle.

The Bible tells this beautiful story of the Garden of Eden. In the garden mankind was in a perfect relationship with God. Life was simple and wonderful in the presence of God. However, when man ate the forbidden fruit he gained the knowledge of good and evil, of right and wrong; but he was banned from the Garden.

It was in man's knowing that he lost God. It was in his unknowing and uncertainty where he was able to have a relationship with Him.

The more I become comfortable doubting God the more I learn who He is.

As soon as I grasp God as an object I loose him all together. It's only I let go of who I think God is and simply exist in Him that I find God.